Stock Tips

March 7, 2008 on 5:44 pm | In Updates by Josh Jones |

Okay sure, I can buy she's a First Republic Bank customer.

First Republic Bank just opened a new branch a block from my house. I was kinda bummed, because I was hoping the lot would become something cool like a Starbucks or a McDonald’s.

Anyway, First Republic has the ad you see above, and some other eerily similar ones, in the window. All the ads use such banal stock photography they never made much of an impression on me, despite passing them every single day.

They never made much of an impression, until yesterday that is! Which is when I passed the Bank of America less than two blocks from them and saw they had just put a new ad that was very eerily similar in their window:

But ALSO a BofA customer?!

That’s the same lady! Right? Am I right? Yeah, it is! Definitely. Right?

Ha, anyway, I thought that was kinda funny. I mean, geez, B of A, couldn’t you at least check the bank closest to you before picking from the stock gallery?!

The Web Hosting Angle

Now, I shouldn’t be one to bash stock photography… the whole concept is very much alive and well in the entire Web Hosting industry. Still I’ve never come across two hosts with exactly the same “employee” on their front page!

I know sub-prime lending is a mess right now, but come on, bankers!

Speaking of Web Hosting stock photography, I’ve decided to end this post with a little collection of some of my favorite Web Hosting stock photo hotties, each one linked to some actual people employed at the various companies…

MidPhase

Now that’s three hotties! Click to see more!
(What, nobody wanted to cough up for the “in-focus” version?)

BlueHost/HostMonster

Smmmmmmmoking! Let’s see HER at work!
(Isn’t that the same laptop they have on all the desks at IKEA?)

FastHosts

Isn’t she perky! Now, who’s behind the scenes?
(AIEE! How does she hold that paper without any finger tips?!)

Verio

Quite the professional team of Americans! OR IS IT?!
(That’s some shiny floor they’ve got at Verio!)

1 and 1

Whooeee, what a cuuuuuuteeee! What else they got at that host?
(Hummuna hummuna hummuna…!)

DreamHost

Of course, we aren’t exactly what WE represent, either….
(We try our best to make sure nobody ever uses the same stock art as us!)

21 Responses to “Stock Tips”

  1. humblefool Says:
    March 7th, 2008 at 6:34 pm

    Rest assured, no one in their right mind is ripping off that image.

  2. Sam M Says:
    March 7th, 2008 at 8:08 pm

    So, should I buy stock in apple or wait? Darn you and your misleading headlines.

  3. fievres Says:
    March 7th, 2008 at 11:55 pm

    Josh, it seems that the last link was a bit misleading…
    And actually you forgot that you already have published pics of
    actual dreamhost people     :)

  4. Steven Says:
    March 8th, 2008 at 12:55 am

    Trust me, our floor isn’t that shiny. ;)

  5. Martin Says:
    March 8th, 2008 at 5:17 am

    The “executive team” one is great :-) It is so typical. Also it is ever so hilarious to read about “our marketing team”, “we” etc. on websites of clearly one-man operations.

  6. Lorenzo Says:
    March 8th, 2008 at 10:43 am

    One of my favorite fau pas of stock art is the cover of “Head First Design Patterns”. That some blond in tank top shows up a few years later as a huge poster at my credit union. What a hoot!

  7. Tim Says:
    March 8th, 2008 at 1:11 pm

    CI Host has old employee AND shiny floors.

    http://www.cihost.com/images/about/about-cihost-top.jpg

  8. Tim Says:
    March 8th, 2008 at 1:12 pm

    Joyent has cartoon people running their business.

    http://www.joyent.com/img/lang/en/aboutCoverSheet.png

  9. Tim Says:
    March 8th, 2008 at 1:16 pm

    MediaTemple employees hookers.

    http://weblog.mediatemple.net/weblog/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/heidies.jpg

  10. Tim Says:
    March 8th, 2008 at 1:19 pm

    Last but not least, ServePath shows (believe it or not) their actual employees.

    http://servepath.com/images/ServePath-team-2007.jpg

  11. jidanni Says:
    March 8th, 2008 at 2:44 pm

    Yes that sleeping kid picture is what I used to convince my mom to pay
    for my hosting. Do add a little drool next time. Perfect photo. Please
    use even after the 10 year celebration mentioned on it is over. I can’t
    think of a better photo/motif.

  12. Grey Hodge Says:
    March 9th, 2008 at 1:09 am

    tim: What’s wrong with employing hookers?

  13. Unofficial DreamHost Blog Says:
    March 9th, 2008 at 2:29 pm

    I’ve always wondered where you could get the shrinkwrapped box of DreamHost. Does the box really contains “10 Years of Hosting Dreams”?

  14. Wendy Says:
    March 12th, 2008 at 9:27 am

    Just a little quibble–the first pic she’s a customer, clearly enjoying her banking freedom, a bit of a sultry loungin’ with her laptop, anytime, anywhere, baybee.

    In the BofA instance, she’s an employee, a creepy bigheaded cutout employee. So she works for BofA but she banks with First Republic. Kind of worse.

  15. Jeff @ DreamHost Says:
    March 12th, 2008 at 9:33 am

    What’s the deal with those big head pictures, anyhow?

    It seems like the trend has been lessening, but for a while those “big-headed stock photo people” were all the rage in advertising - especially for tech and Internet companies.

    Book covers, too. Used to give me the creeps walking down that isle at Barnes & Noble, with all those massively-melon-topped book cover models staring out at me.

    Or maybe they’re just really, really short people? They’re often looking up at you - perhaps it’s just the perspective you get when someone is 2 feet in height?

    - Jeff @ DreamHost

  16. Rick Says:
    March 12th, 2008 at 10:05 pm

    Almost as good as the “The Dog” pictures a few years back where they used some sort of fisheye lens to make the dog’s head huge… all sorts of chain emails I got about how they were breeding these mutant freak huge-headed dogs…

  17. Em Says:
    March 15th, 2008 at 7:21 pm

    It looks like those pics were made using drag and drop images. For some of those folks, their heads are quite disproportionate to their torsos. :o

  18. Focx Says:
    March 20th, 2008 at 1:08 pm

    Can we get a gallery of past dreamhost front pics please?

  19. Dave Says:
    April 1st, 2008 at 5:45 pm

    That Midphase shot would actually make me NOT want to buy hosting from them.

  20. Webhosty Says:
    April 2nd, 2008 at 12:43 am

    In the same league: PowWeb and UK2 are using the exact same stock photo on their frontpage.

    Two thumbs up!

  21. db Says:
    April 27th, 2008 at 6:43 pm

    Where’s all the tech nerds who actually make things work? I’d like to see at least one of them in the ad.

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