Dodge; Duck; Dip; Dive; DreamHost
August 31, 2007 on 7:11 am | In Funnyish, Insider View by Josh Jones | 33 Comments
I’m sure some of you sometimes wonder what exactly is going ON over here when the network goes out at DreamHost.
Well, we get right down to it. No matter how late, nor how dark, nor how dangerous, everybody heads over to the local park and plays some Dodgeball while we wait for it to hopefully resolve itself!
It’s an industry standard practice, let me assure you.
In fact, lots of times when we get there, we find several other web hosts are already playing! That’s when we take them out with our massive balls.
I usually lead the assault… since nobody can see me in my camouflage shorts!
Finally, when one lucky shmoe is declared Ultimate Dodger (small people have an advantage), they get to go back and fix everything!
The rest of us are forced to go get drunk and eat onion rings.
33 Responses to “Dodge; Duck; Dip; Dive; DreamHost”
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August 31st, 2007 at 7:38 am
Well, this explains a lot.
August 31st, 2007 at 7:54 am
Feeling bitter today, guys? That’s too bad, ’cause I still love Dreamhost.
August 31st, 2007 at 7:56 am
Well this is great to know, i was wondering why my support emails smelt like sweat.
August 31st, 2007 at 8:47 am
You sure got balls Josh!
August 31st, 2007 at 8:48 am
Great, now would the winner please go figure out why my cronjob locks are suddenly constantly failing (immediately after the ouzo issues the other night), despite only running the damn things every few hours? Low-tier tech support has apparently given up…
August 31st, 2007 at 9:41 am
Must be dodgeball time again… bannination.com is down… ugh
August 31st, 2007 at 10:21 am
[...] – DreamHost Blog » Dodge; Duck; Dip; Dive; DreamHost “I’m sure some of you sometimes wonder what exactly is going ON over here when the network [...]
August 31st, 2007 at 10:23 am
blasphemy
August 31st, 2007 at 10:47 am
I just figured that whenever the network was acting up, you had Patches O’Houlihan throw wrenches at the router.
August 31st, 2007 at 12:21 pm
ok, I admit that I was one upset hombre when outgoing email was down on snicker – jeopardizing a potential sale to a client that required its functionality via a contact form – but that is really funny.
I think you guys need at least one pirate involved when you play Dodgeball.
Chuck
August 31st, 2007 at 1:48 pm
Josh,
The Lord wants you to know that he got a pretty good chuckle out of this. He knows that most people think you were joking, and are unaware that you do indeed go hang out during the outages while He fixes the system. He congratulates you on your outstanding faith in Him, and promises his continued support as long as you keep good hearts. He also warns that if you do NOT keep good hearts, he will turn you into pimpled upon the surface of Bob Parson’s ass.
Voice Of One
August 31st, 2007 at 2:16 pm
Chuck:
Pirates are fine, we just can’t afford letting ninjas play.
August 31st, 2007 at 2:45 pm
I lol-ed, but I’m not so sure about the guys who rely on their websites for their income…
August 31st, 2007 at 2:47 pm
Ninjas are nothing to worry about… just don’t play against Chuck Norris and you should be okay.
August 31st, 2007 at 2:53 pm
Oh I forgot… If anyone from dreamhost reads this, please can you fix it… With the personalised dreamhost status feeds, every problem is called “Resolved – Title Here” before it is resolved. Bit weird isn’t it, and it changes to “RESOLVED Title Here” when it really is resolved.
And it doesn’t show all the problems relating to my servers… so all in all its a pointless load of crap, and I mean that in the nicest possible way :D
Have fun fixing stuff…
August 31st, 2007 at 4:37 pm
Unseen? With that YELLOW underwear? Pfff… :P
August 31st, 2007 at 6:58 pm
well thats great to know :P
September 1st, 2007 at 6:11 am
Oh, this explains a lot about webhosts in general.
It’s great that you have a dodgeball blog (dreamhoststatus.com) unlike some companies I’ve used.
September 1st, 2007 at 1:04 pm
Well, that’s the way to deal with problems …
September 1st, 2007 at 2:16 pm
Well since my sites stayed up during the last round of dodgeball I guess I don’t mind too much. Now august is over so back to work…
September 2nd, 2007 at 8:39 pm
Now I’m working on the weekend, but it seems as if DH is not. My domain has not had email all day, and have been watching the same “We are currently experiencing some dns issues which are effecting the sending of email. Our admin team is working to get this problem resolved as soon as possible. Our apologies for the issues.
You can keep updated at dreamhoststatus.com! (posted 14 hours 12 mins ago) ” message all day.
There has been no update, on the panel or on dreamhost status page, and of course I have not gotten a response to my trouble tickets (the first seemed to be moved to resolved queue without resolution). I have been with DH for over 4 years, and have not seriously considered moving until now, but the complete lack of communication is causing me to consider it.
September 3rd, 2007 at 11:38 am
This is ridiculous. Customers want uptime guarantees they can rely on, not juvenile stories (this is fiction, right?) suggesting their data and businesses take a back seat to workplace-hosted playground shenanigans.
As a new customer I am at a loss for words to describe how shocked I am at your flagrant lack of respect for quality of service. If this happens again I’m canceling my account, no questions asked.
September 3rd, 2007 at 2:29 pm
I was wondering why each mail in the last week send to support takes about 3 and half days to get an answer. Good job DH, it’s 3 days and 22 hours from the last email send to support, and seems that i will surpass the answering record of 4 days and 5 hours from the previous emails.
Looks like DH is doing the best!
Btw, i just noticed 3 days and 23 hours now from the last ticket send to support …. refreshing the browser window is so … refreshing.
September 3rd, 2007 at 5:18 pm
@savvyplayer
I am shocked at your inability to take a joke. This blog is in no way serious. If you can’t take reading jokes like this then ignore it. If you cant do that then leave.
Since you say your a new customer ill give some advice.
1. There are no guarantees about uptime here. If you want one, go somewhere else.
2. Just cancel your account. If your new and complaining already, you will want to leave now. This service is obviously not for you.
September 3rd, 2007 at 7:40 pm
Is there a basic level of service level? Like uptime for like at least 90%? It is getting painful just reading the comments and seeing DH dodging those questions.
September 4th, 2007 at 8:24 pm
“Online Classifieds”: You need to read more carefully! They are not dodging “questions” at all; they are dodging “balls”! ;-)
If you want answers to questions, you will find submitting a support request is a better way to communicate, as DH makes it very clear *that* is the way to contact them. And the overwhelming majority of these comments warrant no response at all, other than possibly “meh…”
September 6th, 2007 at 12:42 am
6 days without an answer from Dreamhost support!
Welcome to DH support panel, keep refreshing
September 6th, 2007 at 3:24 am
This is really quite amusing.
Those who don’t get-it should re-evaluate their outlook on reality — consider the possibility that the world revolved long before he/she made an appearance and will continue to do so long after he/she is gone.
September 7th, 2007 at 6:10 am
This work environment sure put the googleplex to shame…
September 7th, 2007 at 3:15 pm
No head shots for the more senior guys please.
September 10th, 2007 at 6:19 pm
No head shots at all ! Players bytes will going crazy! j/k
November 1st, 2007 at 6:21 pm
I saw this post tonight and I was thinking thats what the Facebook and OpenSocial folks should do. Just play one big killer game and see who comes out on top. It’ll be much quicker.
June 18th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
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